Not Today

The sun is shining, the sky is blue, and the temperature feels just about right - not too hot or too cold.  My temperature is lukewarm.

The last four months have had ups and downs, but from my perspective nothing too down.  The layoff was and continues to be tough, but truly not the end of the world.  My son is happy and healthy and doing well in school.  All our bills are paid.  All of my parents are relatively happy, healthy, gainfully employed, an active part of our lives, so supportive and loving.  My friends and their families are all doing well on most counts - no job losses, terminal illnesses, divorces, or other major things that can take you off track for a while.  My health is ok (on the tail end of fighting some nasty stomach virus), singledom is a-okay with me (big believer there is a difference between being 'alone' versus 'lonely'), and I keep positively plugging along on job search.  

Yesterday I scheduled an interview with a fortune 250 for later in the week.  Today, I got TWO "thanks-no-thanks" emails (aka TNT letter) from another fortune 250 companies I have been interviewing with for some time.  I thankfully have other opportunities in the hopper.

I have been keeping busy with volunteer work, socializing on line, face-to-face, some reunion planning, extra time with Elijah, the usual day-to-day chores that are never ending, and an occasional down moment for myself reading or listening to music without any interruptions.  

All that said...I am not feeling it today.  

I am not feeling all upbeat and positive.

I don't want to talk on the phone, or drop someone a note.

I don't feel like playing with Elijah one-on-one.

I am not going to do any volunteer work.

I am not feeling strong and invincible.  

I don't plan on putting on makeup (not even lip gloss/chapstick....really).

I don't feel like giving or receiving.

I can't even pretend today; even if I wanted to.

I am not quite sure how to get re-charged.

I am not feeling it....not today.