Processing

The last weekend of October - aaahhhh - I love Fall. I guess, I love the seasons; however Spring and Fall seem to be my favorite. When I reflect back on my life, like many of us, there are certain sounds, scents, and/or visuals that may be associated with a memory.

After the feet of snow in the Denver-metro area this week, I will have to re-program the memory banks to recall some of this week's memories as Fall - not quite winter. I am thankful for a weekend with warmer temperatures.

In the meantime, just sharing as I process

Happy Halloween.

~Kelley

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We

You be “you” and I’ll be “me;”
Sounds so parochial and easy.

At first blush, how hard could it be?
Until you and me start talking “we.”

When do you make a “me” decision versus a “we” decision?
When does “we,” evolve to a just “me” revision?
Discussions of next steps and opening doors;
When and where does my life collide with your's?

I can be a hopeless dreamer, s0 maybe our lives didn’t really collide?
Maybe it was the idealistic fantasy and emotional ride?
A ride? I had hoped it was more like a life-long journey.
A ride is okay, if it is to a partnership in love for eternity.
On that ride, it’s not me – it’s “we.”

On my ride, it’s “us,” it’s us together.
On my ride there is no fair-weather.
On my ride it’s us side-by-side,
Where our separate worlds loving collide
Now and forever.
When you’re “you” and I’m “me,” it is still a “we” endeavor.

I just wondered, “Am I on this ride alone?”
When it comes to affairs of the heart it is often felt, not known.
I want to know, if that’s not too much to ask.
If this hasn’t been real, let’s remove the mask.

Maybe it’s been real, it’s just reverted back
Back to the reality that you have to be true to you in fact.
I respect that you have to be true to you before me
Being “we” isn’t that easy.

A Halloween Poem with Some Fear and Lessons

Little Orphant Annie
by James Whitcomb Riley

Little Orphan Annie's come to my house to stay.
To wash the cups and saucers up and brush the crumbs away.
To shoo the chickens from the porch and dust the hearth and sweep,
and make the fire and bake the bread to earn her board and keep.
While all us other children, when the supper things is done,
we sit around the kitchen fire and has the mostest fun,
a listening to the witch tales that Annie tells about
and the goblins will get ya if ya don't watch out!

Once there was a little boy who wouldn't say his prayers,
and when he went to bed at night away up stairs,
his mammy heard him holler and his daddy heard him bawl,
and when they turned the covers down, he wasn't there at all!
They searched him in the attic room and cubby hole and press
and even up the chimney flu and every wheres, I guess,
but all they ever found of him was just his pants and round-abouts
and the goblins will get ya if ya don't watch out!!

Once there was a little girl who always laughed and grinned
and made fun of everyone, of all her blood and kin,
and once when there was company and old folks was there,
she mocked them and she shocked them and said, she didn't care.
And just as she turned on her heels to go and run and hide,
there was two great big black things a standing by her side.
They snatched her through the ceiling fore she knew what shes about,
and the goblins will get ya if ya don't watch out!!

When the night is dark and scary, and the moon is full
and creatures are a flying and the wind goes Whoooooooooo,
you better mind your parents and your teachers fond and dear,
and cherish them that loves ya, and dry the orphans tears
and help the poor and needy ones that cluster all about,
or the goblins will get ya if ya don't watch out!!!

It is Okay to Quit

This final week of Keltober, I have had several friends send me emails, texts, or notes that I actually took the time to read and reflect on. Don't get me wrong - it is not that I don't read my friends' notes. It is simply that I preview most of them, skimming and gleaning data, information, nuggets, or whatever, to ascertain if I should spend one of my most precious resources (time) taking a deeper dive.

It has been a challenging week based on weather, child, illness, emotions, and just plain ol' life. One of my friends I call "3D" sent this one...good stuff to remember on any given day.

Take care my friends. As always, thanks for taking a peek.

~Kelley
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1. Quit arguing with people about the same old foolishness! Respect their position and keep it moving!

2. Quit telling people your secrets when you know they are not going to keep them! And if you keep telling them, then quit getting mad when they tell your secrets!

3. Quit trying to pull people on your journey who don't want to travel with you. Either they believe in you and value you...or they don't!

4. Quit complaining about things you can't and won't change!

5. Quit gossiping about other people! Minding our own business should be a full time job!

6. Quit blaming each other for things that in the big picture aren't going to matter three weeks from now! Talk solutions...and then implement them!

7. Quit eating things you know are not good for you! If you can't quit...eat smaller portions!

8. Quit buying things when we know we can't afford them! If you don't have self control, then quit going to the stores! Quit charging things, especially when you don't NEED them!

9. Quit staying in unhealthy relationships! It is not okay for people to verbally or physically abuse you! So quit lying to yourself! It is not okay to stay in the marriage for the children! Ask them and they will tell you that they really would prefer to see you happy and that the misery you and your spouse/partner are living with is affecting them!

10. Quit letting family members rope you into the drama! -Start telling them you don't want to hear it! Quit spreading the drama! Quit calling other relatives and telling them about your cousin or aunt! Go back to #5 minding your own business should be enough to keep you busy!

11. Quit trying to change people! IT DOESN'T WORK! Quit cussing people out when you know that they are just being the miserable and jealous people that they are!

12. Quit the job you hate! Start pursuing your passion. Find the job that fuels your passion BEFORE you quit!

13. Quit volunteering for things that you aren't getting any personal fulfillment from anymore! Quit volunteering for things and then failing to follow through with your commitment!

14. Quit listening to the naysayers! Quit watching the depressing news if you are going to live in the doom and gloom of it all!

15. Quit making excuses about why you are where you are or why you can't do what you want to do!

16. Quit waiting on others to give you the answers...and start finding the answers for yourself! If what you are doing isn't working for you...then quit it!

17. Quit settling and start making your dreams a reality!- Quit being afraid and START LIVING YOUR LIFE! CREATE THE LIFE YOU WANT! If you want something different than what you have had in the past...you must quit doing what you have done before and DO something different! JUST QUIT IT ...... and START DOING something to create the experience you want!

Motivational Speaker - Veraunda Jackson

Tonight is One Of "Those Nights"

It is Saturday night and life is good. Life is so good that I really have no business complaining about much...except...yes, I said, "except!" I miss him!

In fact I am even a little emotional about it and teary-eyed...just a big baby quite honestly. So, as usual, to help me cope, I put words on paper to help process my emotions. I am not apologizing for my feelings - just passively acknowledging them in my blog. And, I am even pouting a bit...sad but true.

Happy Weekend to all that read my odds ends on any given day!

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I’d rather feel the loving gaze of your eyes
Than hear your tender voice where the "visuals" can be disguised.

I’d rather sit with you in the quiet of silence
Than have the physical distance - no matter the pretense.

I’d rather be unfiltered and raw in your presence
Than polished and refined, yet still a mess.

I miss you.

I’d rather see you laugh and smile
Instead of hearing your laughter across the telephone miles.

I’d rather look at the stars and moon with you next to me
Instead of wondering wherever you are, do you see exactly what I see?

I’d rather tell you how my day was while feeling your touch
Instead of missing you so damn much.

I don’t slow down, but keep my waking hours occupied
Instead of crying, my tears are denied.

It doesn’t matter that I am strong and can survive this
There is a void that still exists.

I miss you.

I Am Soooo "Gone!"

I haven't been blogging much, not for lack of thinking, processing, and such. The truth is I between the new job, working, commuting, and Elijah's schedule. My days are really packed. Furthermore, I spend virtual time with the love of my life (Bill).

Virtual time could be on the phone, text, on line...you know. This past weekend I was able to tack on a few days to a business trip and visit him in the Washington DC area. It was an amazing trip for so many reasons. He is amazing. The experiences he shared with me were amazing.

I hope "amazing" doesn't sound trite. It just seems like a simple, yet powerful word. I am so thankful he came into my life again after all these years. I am thankful he is my gentleman, my friend, my confidant, my teacher, my sweetheart, my comic relief, my comforter, and my lover. I look forward to the day he is my husband, the father of my children, and my life-long partner.

So, maybe a future blog will talk about meeting that first night in the Reagan airport; his sweet kiss; the trip home on the Metro, the rain; the night we spent and the DC Comedy Improv; the pouring rain; watching DVDs in his arms; his gentle touch; my surprise birthday dinner on the Potomac River; our midnight stroll through Washington Mall; (did I mention) the pouring rain; the stimulating conversation; and the feeling of stability, comfort, safeness, and complete unconditional love that ensues my essence being with him.

Until then, I have made a promise to do a better job capturing our lives and times. I have missed a few soccer game, Elijah Excerpt moments, and family stuff. On a closing note, I am soooo gone - so in love!