A Quick Classic: A Sunday Sound Bite for the Ladies

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

~Marilyn Monroe

Love and Peace - no matter if you are at your best of worst.

The Road Less Traveled...On Any Day

For whatever reasons, Spring and Fall seem to be the seasons I enjoy most. My senses are move alive; I am more thoughtful about the littlest of things; I am the busiest; I look inward more methodically as to prepare for "something." 2010 will likely be no exception.

Early this morning, a friend discussed "the high road" with me. Of the many things I did today, one was participating in Elijah's school's annual Earth Day Celebration. The idea is bringing a "community" together to make a difference in a short period of time...we worked on the external environment of the school, beautifying, making safe, etc. Like last year, I focused on two activities that were therapeutic (and most others didn't seem to have an interest in doing): weeding and shoveling. The two activities were so symbolic for me and my mental state. Similarly, they tied back to the idea of "taking the high road."

What does it mean to travel this road..."the high road?" Whatever your destination and whomever you are traveling with, how easy is it to not be petty; or only consider your potentially narrow, personal interests? On your journey, are you able to look at the larger picture and do what's right, even when it doesn't appear to benefit you individually and/or personally? This road may be laden with honor, ethics, truth, respect, and more. You may not always have a traveling companion on "the high road."

Right now, now-a-days, I am REALLY trying to take "the high road." It is clearly the road less traveled. And I don't feel like I have a traveling companion either. I am not trying to have a pity party. There are so many roads, detours, curves, hills, pot holes, highways, and more to travel down on any given day. I know nothing in life is static. All living things grow and change.

As I actively celebrated Earth Day with strangers today, I was reminded (just like the seasons) various personal relationships become strained and may undergo mysterious seasons of estrangement. Relationships may alter and grow; or, fall fallow and rest quietly until the season comes for "it" to bloom again. I don't expect that all my personal relationships will always be easy. I want my loved ones to have the unconditional freedom to grow, to change, and to challenge me by their altered behaviors and views.

Where I struggle... in all honesty... where I take it personal (despite the logic in me saying, "I respect their needs - even if includes distance and self containment.") is when behaviors and actions feel petty, disrespectful, and the like. Can I take "the high road" when I feel like someone I care about is being petty with me? Disrespectful to me? Selfish? And even more so...not the "what" they might be doing, but the method, or the "how" they may be demonstrating such behavior.

I am packing my bags. So, here I go down the infamous "high road" both personally and professionally. ALL of my relationships are organic and evolutionary. Relationships are catalytic and transformative in multiple dimensions - good and bad...yet never static. So, cautiously, I travel down the road on my journey, weeding to ensure growth, shoveling crap out of my path if needed, mindful that intersections spark new growth (even if I feel a few growing pains).

The right to change, is a blessing we each have...

Thanks for reading today's randomness.

~Kelley

Elijah Excerpts: The Latest

Boy Oh Boy!

Did I mention Elijah is "all boy?!?" On soooo many counts Elijah is every stereo-type of a person with large amounts of testosterone racing through his body. Yet, in other ways, he has the sweetest, gentlest soul...did I also mention, "I love THAT boy?!?!" He will forever be my "Suga-Bear," even when he is 6 foot plus and grown!

The latest milestone my five and a half year old boy is experiencing (to remind me that he will be "grown" sooner than I know it) - he has his molars growing in...AND... drum roll...a loose tooth. For those of you with bambinos - I didn't recall this being such a huge right of passage in my youth (well maybe the first one, but not after that?) ... but apparently, at least for my little guy it is. Perhaps it is indeed because it is the first one.

So, any day now, the Tooth Fairy may be blessing our doorstep as Elijah passes through this milestone. Likewise, the school year is wrapping up and Spring soccer is well underway... so much... so fun...did I mention, "I love THAT boy!?!?"

Happy Spring!

And Here I Sit...in the Midst of Change

Isaac Asimov was a brilliant man and science fiction writer (among other significant accomplishments in his life). Mr. Asimov is quoted as saying,

"It is change, continuing change, inevitable change, that is the dominant factor in society today."

And here I sit... in change, or on the brink of change.

Like many people, I am personally aware that we are sometimes faced with events outside of our control. Our closest friends relocate; our employer downsizes; a family member is diagnosed with terminal illness; the love of your life no longer feels the way they once did; a loved one is taken by a "freak accident;" or, a fire destroys a home, leaving nothing but ashes. In any of those circumstances, there is a loss. Faced with loss, your heart can be seized by fear. Other times, change doesn't bring visible or tangible loss. Nevertheless, fear of the unknown can be equally paralyzing to the heart.

So, here I sit, confessing in private, electronically, "I am scared." Here I sit drawing into myself, contracting my heart in an effort to protect myself. After all, isn't that human nature? Fight or flight? And yet... I am trying to step outside of myself. I am trying to chisel away at the fear with the knowledge and experience that proves when I expand my heart and the possibilities (versus contract), I learn; I grow.

I could harden my heart to ensure it is never hurt again. It's "safer." It's easier... the harder it is, the impact of the heaviest blows can't penetrate my priceless heart. Or, I could take the riskier and harder approach. I could soften my heart to receive new beginnings. Uggh! I once read, "clarity is the bedrock of an honest life." Too cliche? Too dramatic?

There is no "drama" to speak of... life is unfolding smoothly, without heightened adrenaline, as I turn within to define me - who I am and who I want to be... and here I sit... in the midst of change...continuing, inevitable change.

~ KJ