The Milestone

It was a hazy summer morning in the Denver-metro area. Today was the second day of summer camp for Elijah. Mindful of how the Colorado sun can pierce through the clouds and burn skin of all ages, Kelley showed Elijah how to spray his new Neutorgena sunblock, SPF 70 with Helioplex on his hands.

Elijah was very intrigued. As with many creatures that have large levels of testosterone racing through their bodies, Elijah pretended it was a gun…of course he did! Kelley no longer got upset that everything with a certain shape or ability could become an imaginary gun at her son’s whim. Instead, they stood there in the parking lot while Elijah became enamored with the shiny glow the sunblock left on his skin.

As they walked into the school for summer camp it felt odd. The halls were quiet, dark, and silent. They were not bustling with children of all ages. It was unlike the feeling and sounds during the school year. It wasn’t so much odd as “different.” Per the routine, Kelley walked Elijah to the cubby where he was to leave his backpack and lunch box in Ms. Bridget’s classroom. Next, she escorted him down the hall to the school’s cafetorium where the other summer camp participants signed in for the day.

As they entered the double doors of the cafetorium, they found the hustle and bustle that was absent from their walk into the school. The energy of the school was all contained in one concentrated space. There was chatter, laughter, yelling, and lots of playing amongst 20 or so children. There were so many sounds and sights in this small space Kelley did not feel Elijah let go of her hand. Kelley was observing the other children, wondering their ages, if they were having fun, if this was the right environment for Elijah to spend his summer time, ensuring fun and a genuine break from the school routine.

Just then, Kelley saw Ms. Amy, the summer camp coordinator. Due to the mix up of Elijah’s summer enrollment paperwork, Kelley wanted to check in and see if the paperwork was located or if she needed to complete a new copy. After the brief discussion, Kelley officially signed in Elijah. As she was preparing to leave, she looked around the cafetorium for her ray of sunshine. Elijah’s back was to Kelley. Above the chatter and laughter of the little ones, Kelley yelled his name, “Elijah…Elijah.” Elijah did not answer as he had already integrated himself into ‘the playing.’

Then, one of the camp guides called Elijah. No answer. Then another, guide tried…again, no answer. Finally, after one last attempt, Elijah turned around as one of the guides said, “Elijah, your mom is leaving.” He turned around with a different kind of look Kelley wasn’t sure she had seen on his face before that very moment. It was a blend of his “bashful-shy look,” and his “don’t bother me now” look. Kelley smiled as she waited for him to walk over to her.

But he didn’t. Instead, he slowly raised his hand, waived it from side-to-side and sheepishly said, “Bye mom.” Kelley gasped out loud. It was such a loud gasp, three of the camp guides looked at her as her eyes watered up. The look on her face must have said it all. One camp guide said, “Yes. I know. I’ve been there.” A second camp guide responded with a rhetorical question, “They grow up so fast, don’t they?”

Kelley waved back, but Elijah was no longer looking. She turned around and walked through the double doors no longer able to hear the chatter or laughter, only the thoughts in her head. “He did it. I wasn't ready yet. I can’t believe I didn’t get a kiss or hug! Where did my baby go? I don’t have a baby anymore – I have a boy – a big boy who continues to become his own person.” As she left the building and got in the car, she sat there for a minute reminding herself that this was normal and millions of parents have experienced this before her and millions will experience it after her... but at four?! Nevertheless, it didn’t change the fact that she momentarily needed and wanted to grieve for the passing of this phase of his childhood. She logically realized he’ll probably hug and kiss her good bye again before too long. It was just that this was the first time he intentionally didn’t.