Hop on the Trust Train to Nowhere

For the record, Elijah is sooo sorry! In fact, he is “DOUBLE sorry!” “I’m sorry,” has become a regular phrase heard at Martin Manor the past few weeks by a little boy who is mastering the English language, exploring boundaries, and testing socialization techniques and strategies. Elijah’s ability to break an overhead light cover was no shock to me as he jumped down the stairs. With all his might he jumped as high as he could before thumping down on the landing. As he has been reminded before, said landing is the ceiling of the flight of stairs down to the basement. With his superior THUD, we could hear the overhead light cover fall to the carpeted ground, roll down the stairs and break as it slammed into the bathroom door….hhhmmmm didn’t I warn him that might happen? Didn’t I tell him not to jump on the landing? Why, yes! Yes! Yes, I did! But let’s not forget, Elijah is soooo sorry.

Don’t get me wrong. I am thrilled Elijah is expressing empathy and manners. The question is, “is the apology genuine?” Approaching five years old (WOW!), I am okay with the idea that this is how he learns. One of my roles is to teach him manners, empathy, cause and effect, and a slue of other things. How do you “teach” someone to mean what you say? Hell! I still get tongue tied or have challenges expressing myslelf while knocking on 40.

No matter the relationship, no matter your gender, you/we want to be taken at our word. I wanted to Elijah to take me at my word. Likewise, I believe he wants me to take him at his word…that he is sorry. So, why do I question his apologetic ways?
Before I carry on, let me just say, “Yes. Guilty as charged. I am overanalyzing this.” In my defense, I see this behavior over and over personally and professionally; in my life and in others’ lives. It is an element of trust. One of the things that cultivates trust is a person who consistently keeps their word. If I am talking about my child, my significant other, my boss…whomever, when you see “someone’s” words lining up with their actions, trust will naturally follow.
Alas, building and working on trust is an indefinite ongoing process with everyone (everyone you choose to invest the time and energy in). It is not a destination….it is part of the infamous journey.